Taking the Bull by the Horns
by Sara Loui
Summary: This shipper has had enough, I took the bull by the horns and this is where it got me R&R please. Thanks darls
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: "Stargate SG-1" and its characters are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Film Corp., Showtime/Viacom and USA Networks, Inc. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
For those of us, (S&J shippers), who may think, 'oh for goodness sake stop teasing and get on with it.'  
  
Taking the bull by the horns. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The scene is set. Carter's lab, thing ma jigs and whoosiwatsits are on a bench, along with doohickeys, gadgets and gizmos blinking and whirring.  
  
Of course the gadgets and gizmos are all but forgotten by our blonde haired blue eyes scientist, because it just so happens a certain, shall we say, 'debonair', tall dark and handsome Colonel has entered into the lair of science.  
  
No ask yourself a question, is it to seek out some information of his second in command. Is it to seek refuge from a certain loveable archaeologist or huggable Jaffa? Is it to seek a companion to join him in the commissary? Those of you nodding your heads obviously have missed a certain point. Hello of course it is not for the above points.  
  
You see it's a kind of dance, if you will, that they perform. Yes in order to keep us entertained. And usually has us thinking will they wont they, and indeed, has us almost to a point of jumping up and down yelling, FINALLY, only to not actually let us explode with happiness that our shippy dreams have come true.  
  
Major Sam Carter and Colonel Jack O'Neill are very, VERY, good at the dance.  
  
BUT  
  
They have pushed myself and certain other shippers one-dance step too far. That's it, I'm drawing the line. This needs divine intervention. Thus, this shipper, and I know there are others like me out there, has decided to take it upon herself to confront the two about it. No ifs or buts. I'm going in. And nobody can stop me. ('cept maybe if that loveable archaeologist happens to appear mid my personal briefing with the pair, then I expect someone else to drop in and take over while I go... excavate)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok I didn't say it would be easy. It's taken me a few days to figure out the dynamics of such a situation. But I have succeeded where others have succeeded before and where others will follow in my footsteps. I do recall having succeeded in taking such drastic measures before, but they always seem like dream like situations when I look back on them. Anyway, here I go. Wish me luck.  
  
Yup it worked, I have two very confused people staring at me, or through me but seeing me at the same time. It takes a little while to adjust, to explain when you actually jump dimension in order to speak to muses, characters etc, you kind of morph between the dimensions for a few minutes. It's still a little weird for the people you're jumping into conversation with. Anyway their confusion doesn't seem to be going anywhere at the moment.  
  
Aww sweet, Jack O'Neill is so cute when he's clueless. Sam has that, 'I should know what's going on but truly I have no idea' face.  
  
I just realised, how on earth am I going to explain this?  
  
Eureka! 'Course this line of thinking means I have to will the loveable archaeologist to stay away from the lab. The Jaffa can turn up if he wants to. He's so... tall! And those muscles, definitely worth measuring, for statistic purposes only.  
  
"Um Hello"  
  
Wow, this is so much cooler than all the other times, if indeed they were real and not dreams.  
  
"Hi Jack, wassup?"  
  
It's an honest question, one, which doesn't need to many brain cells to answer. So why is it he looks even more confused than usual?  
  
Uh Oh?! Oh it's ok; I had a thought there for a moment. I may have appeared here naked. May have been that Eureka thought. But no thankfully, my dignity is saved!  
  
SO he's confused that the vision is talking to him. Oh PuhLease, worse things have happened in the SGC. Funny, I can't think of any at the moment.  
  
I'll try Carter.  
  
Nope, no luck there neither. Although she is edging closer to Jack. Wow there's a surprise, any excuse. And she is reaching for the telephone at the same time. Time for some intervention. Quick thinking, quick talking. I wont be here for long.  
  
"Please don't call anyone to come here, I just need to speak to both of you for a few minutes"  
  
"You know us" well at least she found some words.  
  
The word Duh comes to mind. They truly have no idea.  
  
"Uh yes, Sam I know both of you"  
  
"And you are?"  
  
Hmm, this could be tricky.  
  
"Lou"  
  
"Lou?" Finally Jacks caught up as well.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"As in?" God sarcasm can be so attractive, especially with the blasé wave of the hand like he does it.  
  
"As in L O U, Lou. Short for... something longer."  
  
"And your from" You can tell they've worked for years, one asks one question the other the other. It's like twenty questions. Each of them taking turns and then boom, they will finally come up with an answer. Aww sweet.  
  
Ok Lou, focus.  
  
"Isn't Lou a boys name." Intervenes Jack.  
  
Do you think my frown will put that idea to rest?  
  
"No it's not a boys name, like I said it's short for something else. And I'm an Ancient"  
  
Oh yes people I went there. And I'm digging a deeper hole as we speak. Hey they cant prove I'm not, I know things, I see things. I can do things. Just please don't ask me to read anything Ancient cause then I'm screwed, I missed that episode, I will be so out of here.  
  
"You're an ancient?"  
  
Ok she has that look. It's the 'Are you for real?' look. We've seen it before, it doesn't appear often but it's there. And now it has arisen. It's the equivalent of the angled degree arch of Tealc's eyebrow when he learnt earth's lovemaking customs. From Jack. Oh yeah, I bet your eyebrows are doing the same now.  
  
"Okay" gee the sarcasm is flowing, still cute but a tad irritating. And with it a sort of stride to head for the doorway as he says it. No no no no no.  
  
Ok so I ran, across the small lab, to the door and barred it. With a really tall, black ops Colonel insistent on leaving. Am I mad? Ok think Ancient? Or just bat your eyes. Nah that won't work, they aren't blue and you're not blonde, and you haven't worked with him for seven years. Ah my reason for appearing here. Focus.  
  
"Jack, I need to speak to both of you, about something very important. It's imperative that I speak to you"  
  
Imperative, isn't that Trek talk? Well it doesn't look like he really cares either way.  
  
"Please, this is about your future. Both your futures"  
  
Oh My God, I'm going all 'serious'. Arghh, I hope it doesn't last. But hey I used my best ancient voice! And it seems to be working.  
  
"I saw that"  
  
"Saw What" ok now he is backing off, and they're both looking a little sheepish. But at least I have them in the room.  
  
"The quick eye flash thing you do"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Don't play coy with me. Hello. We know about the eye flash, the looks the glances, the far away thoughts."  
  
"Who knows?"  
  
OK did he miss a part of this conversation? I'm looking to Sam now, who seems to be partially following along.  
  
"The 'ancients' Sir"  
  
Did she just invert us? I say us, you fellow shippers get to be Ancients with me in case something goes wrong and I need backup. Perhaps the question needs to be vocally asked.  
  
"Ancients?" Yes I inverted. And folded my arms. And I have my question face on. And the woman is hard to stare at. Gee's she can be downright scary. Too many missions with Jack O'Neill, home and away. I will not avert my eyes; I will not avert my eyes.  
  
"Well you don't look like the average Ancient."  
  
Well Exc-use me. Hmm at least we are getting somewhere. No inverts this time.  
  
"Well you probably would have said the same thing about Daniel a year or so ago. Even Jack for that matter, even Daniel said that could have been possible."  
  
Oh yeah, I'm winning, I'm winning. Hehe, she looks almost surprised, even, not shocked, just... Unbelief that's it. Yeah I never saw it happening either. Imagine the hell in the ancient verse if Jack O'Neill ever got ascended!  
  
"Uh ladies"  
  
"Please could you sit, for like only a few minutes, I promise I won't keep you for long"  
  
"Are you sure you're..."  
  
"Please. It won't matter anyway. Five minutes... or so, and I'll be gone. And you two can get back to all the sexual tension and goo goo eyes you do so well"  
  
Oh yeah, they look slightly embarrassed, a little miffed. Totally trying to pretend they have no idea what I'm talking about. They sit, near to each other, perfect. I take it upon myself to sit on the lab bench. I need the height to give me a more empowered look. I don't think it's working. I still don't think they are buying my story. Nevertheless, like I said, I wont be here long.  
  
"Actually that's why I'm here" 


	2. chapter 2

"OK so how do I put this?" Think, think, think some more. "OK it's like this. Myself and other fellow ancients have taken a... particular interest in your relationship"  
  
Let me say they have decided to stay in silent mode for the time being. Fine if you want to play games.  
  
"Or lack there of" I add  
  
That got a reaction. They both look, incredulous. Sheepish incredulous. Is that an oxymoron? I'm still not getting any answers.  
  
"We just want to clarify a few things" I've decided to continue rather than sit the silence. "Like what the heck is going on and when will we be seeing some results"  
  
"Results"  
  
Glad to see your keeping up with me Jack.  
  
"Yeah results. As in when are you going to throw caution to the wind and..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Oh you may act all coy Miss C, but I know stuff. We know stuff. We know you know we know. You know we know you know we know and the only person who doesn't know seems to be Jack and I think deep down he knows we know he truly knows what we know and you know"  
  
Wow, I rock.  
  
"Miss C?"  
  
Ok my patience is waning Mr O.  
  
"OK, is it ever going to happen. Because we wish, you'd decide. The whole should they, could they, will they wont they is wearing a bit thing. We cant stand the tension anymore."  
  
"I'm assuming you mean us as in 'us'?" again with the inverts from the blonde woman in the blue eyed corner. Look who just caught up.  
  
"Uh yeah, I mean you two as in the 'us'"  
  
Jack seems to not only have caught up at this point but is ready to put forward a defence as well.  
  
"Well for one thing she's seeing someone"  
  
Do I really have to answer that comment?  
  
"You mean 'Pete'?"  
  
Yes I inverted comma. 'Pete' oh yeah, because he is so the equivalent of Jack. I can so get used to this sarcasm art. I take it my inverts are not acceptable by the good Major. She looks ready to pounce and I doubt I could take her. Time for my defence.  
  
"You can't seriously say Pete is anything special compared to Jack" Hello, wake up and smell the coffee.  
  
No answer. This is good.  
  
"And you"  
  
I've decided it isn't fair to put the entire onus on Sam and so yes Colonel Dear, you're getting dragged into this as well.  
  
"Why is it always Sam who has to make a move? She isn't the only one holding a torch for someone. She isn't the only one whose job is on the line. She isn't the only decision maker in this relationship, such as it is."  
  
They look terribly sheepish. Like when a kid has been called in front of the principal and is looking to squirm out of it by acting coy.  
  
"There's pro's and cons to each side, and I'm not trying to hurry you guys along or anything but"  
  
Long, pause here for extra gumption.  
  
"It's been seven years"  
  
"Technically it hasn't as our 'relationship' has grown over the last seven years"  
  
What is it with the woman and inverted comma signs? I swear if she does it one more time, I may pick up one of the doohickeys and chop them off.  
  
"Oh Puh-Lease"  
  
Yet again another long pause for added effect, this acting ancient thing is really cool. You should try it.  
  
"You two have wanted to jump each other ever since you set eyes on each other. That whole flirting thing in the briefing room. And in front of your fellow officers no less. So don't give me the, our relationship has 'grown' excuse"  
  
Oh my god, I'm catching 'inverted comma' fingeritis. I've decided walking round the lab will add to the atmosphere. That and her lab is actually quite intriguing and I want a closer look. So I'm nosy, sue me. Believe me when you make one of these trips you'll want to get a glimpse into certain things as well.  
  
Ok here's some fat to add to the fire.  
  
"Did you know Pete did a background check on you?" Oh yeah I went there people.  
  
Do you see the smile on my face? I've been wanting to drop him on that one for a few months. The therapist was right, I do feel better.  
  
"Excuse me"  
  
Yup that got your attention.  
  
"Yeah, about ooh I dunno, a week or two after you first met. Round about after you'd reached fourth base but still couldn't reveal your more private work"  
  
Carter looks half-horrified, half-angry and I'm wondering whom the anger and horror is angled towards, Pete or me. And O'Neill, O'Neill is standing with a huge grin on his face. Yes Colonel you have a foot in the door, you have always had a foot in the door. You have just decided not to let the body push further through the doorway.  
  
"Don't look smug Jack. It's kinda your fault"  
  
"Mine, How the hell did you come up with that?"  
  
Mmm he is so attractive and sexy when he's a little riled. Aww sweet. Focus Lou, focus. I swear if Mr J arrives, I'll be putty. Anyway...  
  
"If you hadn't made her think that you and she. It's complicated."  
  
OK I'm not helping the confused look leave his face.  
  
"When Sam was on the Prometheus, the whole vision stuff. It was herself talking to herself but it was images of you guys and"  
  
Am I getting anywhere? I think not and now I'm feeling confused. Ok stop the bus I'm getting off. I think Sam has joined me with the confusion thing. Ok back to her.  
  
"And what's with that? You have that whole vision, then you get with Pete and then all a sudden Boom, there's the whole sexual tension between you two only on a whole different level"  
  
I think I lost them when I said I was an ancient. 


	3. chapter 3

We've spent the last two minutes looking from each other to each other to each other. And in between, I've been flicking buttons. This is fun, but I'm wondering if I'm causing more problems for Siler. Ok back to business because their patience is definitely not on my hand.  
  
"Look lets get back to basics. One simple question, Are you are aren't you?"  
  
Simple enough right? Wrong, I forgot whom I was talking to. Want to give me a little help here people?  
  
"Are we or aren't we what?" asks the Major, eyeing the buttons I'm currently pressing.  
  
"Going to, you know."  
  
I'm raising my eyebrows; I'm giving the head nod. I'm expressing my actual question with expression. And they are so not getting me.  
  
"Jack" I will ask directly, stepping up to the plate, taking a deep breath. What was I going to ask? Oh yeah ok! "Are you considering, oh I dunno, in the near future"  
  
I'm guessing rolling my hand and gesturing to the Major isn't getting the point across. So much for being, direct.  
  
"All we are asking for is for you two to make a decision. Is that too much to ask? Instead of all the hugs and heads on shoulders and glances and... All were asking is for a kiss in which each of you actually remember it, and we're pretty sure that will lead to other interesting things."  
  
Did I just go all serious? Oh I hope not, it'll cramp my style.  
  
"Do you watch our every move?"  
  
Obviously not mushy and serious enough. Jack is looking a little, freaked out. Yup Sam seems to have the same look on her face. I can sort of understand. Maybe I've presented us as a big brother styli. Time to change that idea.  
  
"Not every move" I'm trying to sound reassuring. "Think of us as you would the all great, all powerful OZ"  
  
"So your not truly that powerful" Jack had lit up a little at this. Small minds I tell you. Wonder how many times he has watched that movie. Perhaps not as many as me. Like I said, small minds.  
  
"We are sort of all seeing all knowing, rather than all powerful. But, I decided we needed to intervene in your little, thing you have going on. Basically we need more, and we expect more from two fully grown adults than the pussy footing you've been presenting us with."  
  
There I go with the serious vibe again. I've even folded my arms, and I'm pretty sure I have a stern frown going on. It seems to be working a little. They are back to the sheepish vibe, and are now avoiding eye contact, not with me, with each other. Am I helping the situation at all? Well perhaps I've vented enough and if I leave now they will realise I speak only wise words throw caution to the wind and make out right there on her lab bench. Ok, spurring on towards the end on that note. Cross your fingers people, click your little heels together and say 'theres no-one like Sam and Jack making out to make me a very happy shipper'  
  
"Going somewhere?" Sam has finally found her tongue again and is probably wondering why I'm heading for a more open space.  
  
"I'm sorry, my time here is up. I was only given a short length of borrowed time. I think I have used it wisely."  
  
Wow I sound so, Wise and Ancient. Practice it people, it could be your turn next to come and give them a kick up the proverbial mikta.  
  
"So that's it?" adds in Jack.  
  
What I think I did a pretty good job considering. Lets do a few stretched here, make sure I have enough space.  
  
"You basically tell us what we aready know?"  
  
Ok they are back to the team work twenty questions thing.  
  
"If you already knew it Sam you would have made that nice little end to your conversation with Jack you had going on in your mind on the Prometheus a reality by now. Nice by the way very nice. Should have gone on longer we all say, but hey it's your fantasy. And don't go looking all smiley Jack. Remember a certain end to your time loop trip. Only the gods know what might have happened had that continued any longer than it did."  
  
I take a pause now because my shippy mind is sinking to a gutter level. Yes time to get out of here. Well at least it caused a bit more friction between the two. Now they have to explain to each other exactly what I'm talking about and if they don't, I can darn well come back here and do it for them. Oh what fun! Maybe that time I'll take a quick peek into the Doctors office. And I'm not talking about the medical doctor either.  
  
Ok I can't help myself. Plus just to see him with a goofy smile is enough to turn me into my old wacky self. I just had an epiphany and I can't help myself. As I morph from their reality back to ours the last thing they will see of this strange lady is her waving her arms, sinking through the floor saying.  
  
"I'm melting, I'm melting"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ The end ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thanks for all the reviews peeps, I like a good weird shipper fluffy wacky story every now and then. I have no idea where they come from but I get an urge to write it all down and voila, heres the finished result.  
  
Sara Lou xx 


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